Dear diary

I can't believe it's almost November already, which means it's almost christmas. I love christmas. I love the smell, the joy and the atmosphere. I really hope I keep on being good, so I don't start to feel bad again. I can't do that, not now. The storm has really hit UK, and I hope it dosen't do too much harm. I pray for you who are affected by it.

Today is Michelle's first day at my school. I was really nervous, but it turned out great! She really like her new class, teachers e.t.c. I'm really glad.

I've made a spotifylist which really fits the grey weather outside, and it's filled with Joy Division (Yes, yes, I'm quite the fan of old music). A well made spotifylist is the designation of happiness for me.


Disorder - Joy Division

xx


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I hear the wind
and I know I cannot
embrace it;

I see the ocean
and I know I cannot
bottle its waves;

I feel the earth
and I know I can never
control it;

I would be wrong
if I said you were mine.

xx



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Dear diary

My friend, Rose, is celebrating her birthday with a big party in a couple of weeks. I'm really excited, not only because I love a good party, but Liam will also be there. We met at a party once, and I really connected with this sweetheart. He took care of me, and even when I was totally mortal, he held my hand and put me to bed. I'm looking forward to see him again.

The day has been quite nice. The weather is really autumn-ish, and the day has been perfect for "beards-and-flannel-indie-rock". I hope my mood keeps up, so that I won't be sad when I get home. There's nothing more exhausting than autumn and winter. It's dark outside when I arrive at school, and guess what; it's still dark when I leave. The darkness makes me sad.

But I do have some great news! My friend Michelle is starting at the same school as I attend! I've really missed her in class, but that's going to change now.

And by the way, I'm really working to acheive the summer body of 2014. I have Zumba class and I actually think about running today. This is a mayor change for me. I'll update you about how it's working out (see what I did there? haha).

xx



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I tried to be soft, tried to be gentle and delicate,

but I've got a body full of
bones and sharp edges
I've got blood
red hot blood
pumping through my veins.
I tried to be soft but I was always
painfully human.

I tried to be small, tried to fit in the palm of
your hand, but your fingers just
wouldn?t stretch. And I?m not showing
any signs of shrinking.

I tried to be tangible, tried to make
my heart into something I could
give away, but love isn?t something you
can put a bow on.
It isn?t mine to give.

I tried to be Eve, but I was Lillith,
tried to give terrestrial love
to a celestial being.

But I'm still trying, all the time
I'm still trying.




xx


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Dear diary

This day is as close to perfect as I can imagine. I've been alone all day, which means that I haven't been yelled at once. I do miss my cigarettes, tho, but i promised Michelle I would quit. So I did. I do have a lot of homework to do, but for now, I'll just sit here with my cup of tea and enjoy the day.

It's funny how my mood can change from day to day. Yesterday, I spent the whole day crying. Today, even Jessica telling me about how perfect her life is and how amazing her boyfriend is can't ruin my day. I quite like days like this, and I miss the time where days like this came much more often.

It's even a week since I last cut, and to be honest, I do miss it. The cuts are fading, which might be a good thing, but I keep thinking about it. Wel, well.

My sister made me listen to One Direction's new song, and I quite like it. I actually can't stop listening to it. I'm embarrassed.




xx


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I am Jenna Miller. A perfectly normal teenager from the United Kingdom. A perfectly normal teenager with way too many feelings and thoughts to keep inside. I also find it hard to write about this by hand, so this blog will be my diary. You'll understand later on.

I live in a small town where all my friends have got boyfriends, and never got the time for me anymore. I am lonely, and I do indeed pity myself a bit. The friends are named Violet, Michelle and Jessica, and their boyfriends are named Josh, Julian and George. To tell you the truth, I'm not a big fan of Jessica. She's always been a bitch so from now on, I'll speak of her as my "friend".

I do have a bad habit of drowning in my on feelings. I find it very difficult to talk with others, and I hate large gatherings. Sigh, I just can't remember the last time I felt really happy.
This diary will be a story of my chase for happiness.

In general, I'm pretty average. I love tea and autumn, books and indie rock. I watch skins, I listen to Arctic Monkeys and The Smiths, I run a Tumblr, and I have low self esteem. You're very welcome to comment and basically do whatever you want, but please go somewhere else if you're going to be rude.

xx











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